Chinnor Community Church, High Street, Chinnor, OX39 4DH

Coffee Pot – October dispatches

CCC Coffee Pot and the Name Game

We started with the usual chat and coffee. Keeping abreast of all the news can be a full time occupation. Even so, there is a need to get on with the mornings activity, and as a special guest was coming, anticipation was in the air. It was Margaret S who was taking the rest of the morning, but she was sitting down reading the paper. Fortunately the paper was to be part of the Name Game that she was introducing us to. Whilst the paper was only a minor part in the game, the result of its use caused some anxious moments as a result. The choice of a random letter from the paper required us to select our sixteen answers to start with that letter. A well-known troublemaker randomly selected the letter ‘W’ so the first thing to do was to select a girl’s name starting with that letter. If your word was the only one chosen amongst all the answers from over twenty of us that were present, then two points would be awarded. The winners would be those that had the highest score. The first ‘W’ name caused frantic discussion. ‘Wendolene’ as a girl’s name? It transpired that ‘Wendolene’ was the name of the girlfriend of Wallace, of Wallace and Gromit fame, in a film about sheep rustling, called ’A Close Shave’. ‘Wilamena’ was a good runner up. A Bible character beginning with the letter ‘W’ had to suffice with the answer ‘The Woman at the Well’ as there are no names in the English bible beginning with the letters ‘W.’

The rest of the ‘W’ selection went well except that the song ‘We’ll Meet Again’ was worth more marks than an old Eskimo folk song entitled ‘Whale Meat Again’ [as no one had ever heard of this ditty, except CM, it was disqualified.] We did manage a second letter, ‘L’ but more of that another time.

Margaret closed with a reminder that God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, [Jesus Christ] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

CCC Coffee Pot and Christmas Jokes

I think, judging by the morning’s response, that we had an excellent time, trying to beat the experts at joke writing. Christmas cracker jokes are not always of the best quality, so it was thought to be a good idea for us to have the first line of a Christmas joke and then respond with our own second line, the punch line. As our jokes would be better, they could then be sold to the manufactures of Christmas Crackers. The resultant cash influx could then be put to good use at Coffee Pot. As Father Christmas would say, “Ho, Ho, Ho.” BUT it was not as easy as we thought, so no ‘massive cash influx’ to CP.

Q. What has a bad temper and goes with custard?
A. Apple grumble. Our next best answer was ‘Steam Pudding.’

Q. What does Father Christmas suffer from when he gets stuck in a chimney?
A. Clausstrophobia? Our answers. ‘Flu’ or ‘Smokers Cough.’

It gets worse, for instance the question what is the fastest motor cycle caused a tie. Should the answer be ‘A motor pike, or Skate?’ You decide. There are more, so read on for even more outstanding answers.

Q. Where do you take a sick horse?
A. Horsepital. Why? Because he has hoofing cough. You were warned.

Q. Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A. Because he was stuck on the chicken
So why did the microscope cross the road?
A. To see what was going on, on the other slide.

Time for the epilogue and lunch could not come soon enough for most of us. Our next meeting can only be better, much better.

Peter Brown

Our Christmas Tri-annual will contain a more comprehensive list of jokes, so watch this space.

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